The original Mr Striker, and the only character from the first story in 1985 who still features. Nick was a Premier League footballer who never quite hit the giddy heights of stardom. In 1994, after his club Thamesford refused to renew his contract and with his career in the top flight seemingly over, Nick joined non-league Warbury Warriors as player/manager, with the task of taking them all the way to the Premier League for a final chance to prove his critics wrong. A shark attack in Australia in 2003 eventually brought his playing career to an end. In 2014 he married Li Ming Wong (see below).

Bold, brash, bungling and bumbling, Eric became a millionaire after selling his pork scratchings factory. He bought Warbury Warriors in 1994 when it was a struggling non-league club and hoped to sell it on after securing a ground improvement grant from the Football league – but more adventures than Huckleberry Finn have resulted in Eric and the Warriors becoming inseparable.

Warbury’s cool, calm and ultra-efficient German manager was previously the club’s Kapitan, who controlled a game like the tank he’s named after. For him every game is a war and he never takes prisoners. He is married to Ingrid and they have put a baby on their things-to-do schedule. There are unconfirmed reports that he was once seen laughing. 

A huge talent with an ego to match, assistant coach Fabian was a skilful winger who could just as easily put a girl to bed as a game. However he still has nightmares about a romantic encounter in 2001 that went horribly wrong when a pair of beautiful-but-bonkers twin groupies handcuffed him to a bed before introducing him to their 18-stone mother. The consequence of that encounter? A boy called Romeo.

Callum joined Warbury as a troubled 15-year-old teenager in 2000 and has consistently been the club’s top goalscorer after being helped by his mentor and his then-manager Nick to mend his wayward ways. He lives with Emma Langton, the girl he started dating at school. In 2004 Callum was almost killed after being stabbed by burglars.